There are those kind of days that I do manage to make it through, just by focusing on the next task, next workout session, next meal. Then there are those days when I feel like a blubbering idiot. I can barely hold it together. I am thinking of my loss, impacted by sadness. I work hard to pull myself back from the edge of the grief abyss. Today’s been that kind of a day.
I lost my brother less than a year ago. But it feels like it just happened. I remember our chats, the way we would get silly and laugh about something that I no longer can remember. He impacted my life for the better, he made me a better person, because he was an example, a role model for eating healthy foods, enjoying sports, and saving money. I remember when I took my brother to see the 3D version of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016). We had a great time. It was great to see him so happy. This was the very last time I would see him alive. I cherish my memory of our visit.
To help me in this difficult time, I turn to prayer, meditation, and books. My dear sister bought me a book I keep near me and read often. Pick up a copy of Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief. It discusses emotions and feelings that are common to those of us who’ve lost loved ones, and expresses them so clearly and offers gems of wisdom. It is a comfort.
Grief is not alone. I was reminded today that I’m not the only person who is grieving over a loss. A loss could mean anything. It could be a loss of a loved one, a relationship, a pet, a job. It’s just not talked about, which is a shame. Likewise, everyone is struggling in one way or another. That person who was so rude to you in the check out line – perhaps they are going through a tough phase. Give them some room. Or perhaps a friend hasn’t returned your call yet. Maybe something is going on and they just aren’t in a place where they are ready to talk about it. Let them contact you when they are ready. And when they are, show compassion, and listen to them. Everyone has struggles. You are not alone.
So keep it real. Take a step back, and smile at the next person you see. It may make their day. It may even make their week. And give yourself the time and space to grieve.
“Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.”